Release

It's late, and I can't sleep.

I hate that.

I haven't been able to sleep for a while now. I have a Chemistry quiz tomorrow, and that's really not helping. Nor is the fact that I have a poetry presentation in British Lit. tomorrow that I'm really uncertain about.

I don't like poetry. I'm not closed-minded, I'm simple minded.

You know what's really getting on my nerves. Too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway.

Boys. I'm tired of boys. I was talking to my friend Jessica the other day, and on our eighth day in a row of talking for at LEAST two hours about one boy in particular, I stopped her and asked her what we used to talk about. Back during more simple times. In the seventh grade. What did I talk to friends about on the phone? I can't even remember.
It probably doesn't help that I can't ask anyone else. My group of friends has changed quite drastically in the past 8 months. (Ohh yeah, the other day, May 25, marked 8 months since I've been out of high school.) That friend situation puts me in a very bad mood. So, moving on.

But really. What did I talk about for hours on end? I'm sure it was how I had a MONSTER crush on Nathan or something. Whoa....gross.

Lately, there's been this one guy. We started hanging out sometime in September. It was fun. We would go walking, and watch tv together, and go to movies. You know, the norm. But we were just friends. And I was fine with that. We reached a few problems, but we dealt with them. We hung out pretty regularly. I liked that. My two best friends had gone off to school, I had tons of new friends at school, but that's just it, they're my friends at school. None of us live near each other. So, I had this guy that liked to hang out with me and talk on the phone for hours, and have an smart conversation with. And I LOVED it. He was great.
But, it's been a while since I've seen him. He got pretty slack on calling me everyday (no, I'm not demanding, that's kind of a ground rule we had), and I haven't seen him in almost three weeks. And we didn't really leave that on a good note (Loooooong story that I hate to think of).
So, point is, that I don't know what's going on with him. I miss him. A lot. I got so used to hearing from him, and hanging out a couple of times a week, and going to movies, or dinner, or the playground. I don't know if I should tell him that I miss him, either. I don't know if he'll get the wrong idea. But, I do miss him. I thought we had gotten so close. I could talk to him about how school was and what classes I liked and couldn't stand. I could talk to him about people that were annoying me. I could talk to him about my future, and he would give me an outside perspective. I have my bestests, Chelsey and Cal, but sometimes it's really great to hear someone tell me the absolute truth about my major, or something like that. Not just agree with me to be nice (not that I don't value the support).

There I go..talking about boys. Ughhh.

And I haven't been able to sleep in forever. I worry about what's going on with this guy, and if it's something I've done to make him mad, or if it's something else that he thinks he can't tell me. I worry about my classes, and my Summer classes. And I worry about if I'm going to get into Appalachian for this Fall. I worry about my friends, being off at school. And I miss them. I need to chill out.

I need to stop writing stupid stuff down and go work on British Lit.
I need to get some sleep.
I need to relax.