I CAN SEMI-HEAR!!! (let's celebrate and listen to music!)

I wish I knew how to put music on here (if that's even possible) because I found another GREAT song to do homework to. (Sorry Mrs. Carson, I ended a sentence with a preposition).

"Someday" by The Mighty Mighty Boss Tones. Have you ever seen Clueless? They're the band playing at the big party.

MY EAR IS A LOT BETTER THANK YOU!!

Now, on to Corporate Finance.

Only, I think that Corporate Finance can really just suck my left nut. (If I had one, of course)

SOMEDAY I SUPPOSE!

My ear fucking HURTS and I haven't slept in 2 days because of it.


HOLYMOTHEROFFUCKIWOULDRATHERHAVETHEFLURIGHTNOW.MYEARHURTSSOFUCKINGBAD.

Ohh, and I can't hear out of it, either.

To my left ear,

FUCK YOU!

College:

The post below was supposed to me Me = BIG Ball of Stress...but it was late and I can't copy for shit.

(I just misspelled "shit" as "this" and I never knew you could get "this" out of "shit." Haha.

Anyway, if the image below works as it should..This pretty much sums up my weekends...

=

BIG


OF


(stress)

And for the moment, you can hardly breathe.

I've decided that the only time I'm EVER going to post, is in the wee hours of the morning, when I'm not sleeping.

Just kidding. But, at the rate I'm going, I'll be posting quite often.

I don't understand how I'm not tired. I didn't take my usual afternoon nap (yes, in my old age, of 20, I've reverted to kindergarten behavior).

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Real Monsters).

Haha, I'm in a playful mood, it seems.

I can't get comfy on my bed, and I'm sick of sitting at my desk.

¡Necesito el verano!, dammit.

So, for some reason, I really want to write my aunt a letter. It's not like we normally exhange letters, or even phone calls. I just want to fill her in on what's going on in my life, you know?

I want to write her a funny/clever/smart-ass note, and include some pictures, because I haven't seen the woman since Christmas.

I want to put pictures in the note, too. Like, I want to have someone take a picture of me the way I am now. Propped up on my bed, with my computer "pretending" to do work. And I want a picture of me filing or doing something funny like standing on the big yellow ladder at work. And I want to take a picture of the table where I sit at lunch with all of my friends.

I basically want to document my college experience. I haven't done that great of a job since I've been in college. Well...I have some funny beer pong pictures, but that's about it.

I changed my pricture on my blog (if you hadn't noticed). This is "Classic Courtney." My classic (drunk) pose, me being my crazy self.

One day I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss eating cold pizza for breakfast, and staying up until 5 am, and doing crazy/stupid things with my friends. The worst part is, it won't be long until I'm missing these times. Shit.

Kathryn's wedding announcement came in the mail today.

It makes it official. Not that it wasn't before, but now I have tangible proof that she's getting married. I remember middle school when I met her, and high school where we became friends. And it's wierd, it seems like we've become better friends since we've been away at school. Crazy how me bing in North Carolina, and her being in Utah (accross the country) has made us become closer.

I always knew Kathryn was wiser beyond her years, but sometimes she leaves me messages that just cements that fact.

I'm happy she's getting married, but it scares the hell out of me.

For two reasons:

Kathryn's older than me, and getting married at 21. There are about 6 people (of our high school friends) in between us, and I'm the youngest. Does this dictate a pattern? Will I be the last to marry? Will I get married at all?

The other reason...I had it a second ago...I elaborated more than I was planning on the first one, and I forgot it. Forgive me, it could come back at any moment.

So, yeah, Kathryn's getting married. Wow.

I'm ready for my month of summer. Which, if you think about it, is sweet. My last final is May 7, and I move back up to Asheville for summer classes on June 3. So, I've got a little less than a month. I've got days to be lazy, hang out with some friends that come home for the summer, and then return to the grind. Then I go home for, like 5 days, and move back up for RA traning 10 days early, and August 18th is the first day of Fall semester.

In a way it's like I'm wishing away my time. But it doesn't really matter to me (wow, I say this, and up top I bitch about how much I'm going to miss college...GET IT TOGETHER).

But yeah. That's where I am.

And I'm no closer to sleep. Err.

Speaking of pictures from parties..These are just SOME of the people I could not live without.

Seriously?

I can't sleep. Again.

Last night I didn't get to sleep until 5:17 am.

Tonight, I've already watched all of my Sex and the City's, and I'm BORED.

I did read some old blogs, around the time of graduation and starting school at Surry. Interesting stuff. I'd REALLY like to think I've grown up a bit since then.

Tonight wasn't anything spectacular.

Since I didn't sleep any last night, I came back from class and slept for about two hours, went to Sonic with Randy and then went to see my friend Amanda Alvarez and give her her birthday present. 4 bottles of wine. She was VERY appreciative!

And that's it.

I register for classes in 3 hours, and if I get the ones I need for summer, I'll be in Asheville allllllll summer long.

I'm a little worried, and then a little not-so-worried.

I don't have a job lined up, but I don't HAVE to have one. It would just be nice to not dip into my savings for 3 months. But...I don't know what's going to happen.

More and more people, I'm slowly finding out, will be staying this summer, so that's nice. I'm anticipating LOTS of nights watching the Asheville Tourists (Asheville's equiviant of the Warthogs) play. And I'm TRYING to get my brother and Amber to come up and visit me.

Ohh, and the Brew and View. I'll be there, too.

Other than that.

Ok, to the real part...It's time to play "What's eating Courtney?"

I can't sleep, it's really starting to bother me (not, like, during the day, I can't get anything done, more like, WHY THE HELL CAN'T I SLEEP?).

I wish I knew what it was. But I wrote down and got out of my system what I thought it was (Phil) and I'm still not sleeping. Not that I should EVER really lose sleep on a guy...ugh...I'm not even going to get started.

I'm ready for sleep. I'm ready for summer. I'm ready for changes. I'm ready to be there.

When I figure out where "there" is, I'll letchaknow.

Long one, get ready.

I can't sleep.

Which really sucks, because I'm wearing my new nightgown.

I bought a nightgown, and it came today. I thought it would make me feel something.

It does. I feel very sweet and innocent in it. Very Charlotte. Charlotte as in Sex and the City, because since I haven't been able to sleep, I'm watching the 6th and final season (I JUST bought the last season...VERY EXCITED. I now have a new love. To replace my old one, perhaps?)

That's my mood.

I feel very summer-y.

It was a GOURGOUS day in Asheville, and I took a while to myself to enjoy it, aka, I skipped my Law class. Because I could, and because I made a 95.33 on my paper, and because I wanted to.

Now is the exact time I wish I didn't have a roommate. Not because she's a bitch, or anything. Just that I would like to have the lights on, and she amazingly is in bed before 2, and I'M trying to not wake HER up. This is weird, trust me.

And now, the time I have been dreading. I have to get this out. I have to write this down while it's fresh in my memory.

I went home this past weekend. I went home because Philip broke up with this girlfriend (ex-girlfreind? ex-ex-girlfreind? I'm not quite sure.)

Anyway, we'd been teasing/flirting, and I was really just looking for an excuse to see him.

So, I went home, Randy and I left Asheville after class, and got home around 3:30. I ran some errands with mom, I talked shop with dad. I saw the new couch thing they bought (it's kick ASS!), etc. Dad grilled out, I had a home cooked meal. It was nice.

Then Amber and Corey called and said they were coming to Mount Airy, and were going out with Will and Charity (very good freinds), and would I like to join them. "Sure." So I was off to Will and Charity's to eat (again).

I had messaged Caroline and Phil when I got into town. Just to plant the seed. Phil messaged me all night and dinner, and I was starting to get my hopes up after my second meal with Corey and Amber. Then, (I just really feel like saying TA-DA here) HE ACTUALLY MADE PLANS!

He's kind of flakey, our first "thing" (the only way to describe a 3 hour late-lunch the day after Christmas at East Coast Wings) took FOREVER to finally happen.

So, I was not-so-fresh from class, which made me kind of self concious, but I used some of Chartiy's make-up and was assured MULTIPLE times by my sister-in-law (she HAS to say nice things, right?) and Charity that I looked great. I set off for Chilis. And I was about the pee myself.

So, on the way there, I returned a call to Paula. It was more of a distraction from what was getting ready to happen. And I was magically (TA-DA) at Chili's about a nanosecond later.

I called when I got there, told him where I had parked (in the back, it was 10pm and the place was busting at the seams) in the dark. Ew.

So, we exchanged pleasantries, which means we exchanged basic sarcastic-assness, and he opened the door to the restaurant. (My inner monologue: Ohhh southern gentleman..?).

So, we were seated, he ordered, I got water. And we commenced. being sarcastic towards eachother, but with no hint of naughtyness, like our comversations from school had been like.

He tried to lure me in with his eyes, I told him I wasn't an "eye girl" and he didn't get that I was joking (yes, AWKWARD).

The whole time, while I had put my phone on vibrate because I CLEARLY thought this was a date and he did not, his phone was making noises, he was responding to texts, etc. I just checked my phone for the time.

So, we had been there about an hour. I thought it was going decent, kind of thought it would end soon. Then, someone CALLS, he PICKS UP THE PHONE, and without even looking at me, invites someone to our date. Well, my date, his "thing." I was crushed.

Then, she walked in. Wearing a tanktop, hoochie skirt. the whole 9. Again. Crushed.

She was nice enough. I have NO IDEA how they knew each other, and I was never properly introduced, but I finally learned her name was Serena, in between their bluetoothing (is that a real verb now?) ringtones back-and-forth.

So, Chelsey texts me though this, and I convince her to come save me. So, I, polietly, asked the two of them (who were sitting beside of eachother on the other side of the booth) if they would mind a friend dropping by. (Now that I think about it, it would have been great if I had gotten my HOTT friend Adam to come by, that would have taught him, but I didn't think about that until just now). They starred at me blankly, which I took as a "Nope, we don't care who comes by."

So, Chelsey got there, I introduced her, and then we went to the bathroom. I mean...of course we went to the bathroom.

So, I filled her in while we washed our hands, and then quickly mentioned I could use a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things. Chelsey's translation: Let's get the fuck out of here asap.

I didn't want to get the fuck out of there ASAP. I was still teedering on the notion that this Serena and Chelsey could get lost, and Phil and I could return to MY date.

Didn't happen. Chelsey got restless (and to tell you the truth, bitchy) and said that she had kick-boxing at 8am, and needed to leave.

So, there I was. Alone on my side of the booth. Ugh.

At one point, we were all laughing at somehting, I and slid my feet out, and kocked Phil. But not meaning to, and he kind of was weird about it. Anyway.

Chelsey was gone, and I sat there another 20 minutes trying to be charming, while Phil was talking about going drinking somewhere, and trying to convince Serena to join him.

Check please.

So, I gathered my stuff, put on my soccer-mom sweater, and got up.

Only for them to follow me. Ugh.

So, awkwardly outside of Chilis, I told Serena it was nice to meet her, and Phil walked her to her car.

WTF? Anybody??

So, I was walking back to my car, at midnight, alone, in the dark. Southern gentleman, I think NOT.

And Phil just casually walks by, says something asshole, so I called him an ass. Didn't wait for me to get IN my car, and drives off.

So, I left, the other way, called Amber to vent, and then decided I still needed to go to Wal-Mart.

I knew he was going, but I DEF did not want to run into him. I was only there for a second, because I called Paula and Caroline and they needed a DD anyway. So, as I'm exiting to get my drunk-ass friends, he's in his car, outside of Wal-Mart's doors, talking to workers on their breaks.

Good freaking God.

So, I got directions, slowly at my car from some "sober" person at the party and left Wal-Mart.

I haven't heard from Phil since.


I was fianlly able to put into words my teory of the situation today to Paula. I know he want(ed) a girlfriend. I mean, he dated his ex AGAIN. He wants to date someone, but not me.

And that rejection cuts like a knife. And it sucks. I should really tell you about boy sometime. It's quite an interesting story, lemmetellya.

For now, however, I'd like that to ferment in your pretty little head, while I attempt to sleep in my sweet little nightgown.

Ohh, and this is my inner picture of myself. Maybe not the real "image" but if you've read the book (not seen the movie that, quite frankly, they butcherd, maybe you will understand it?)



For now, it's TA-TA, not TA-DA...maybe that'll happen again? Who knows.

ps, Kathryn, The Appalachians say hi!

pss, I didn't spellcheck, sorry.

jk

Just kidding about the previous post...

CAN'T WAIT TO BE ROOMMATELESS!!!

Then what makes? Then what makes? Then what makes? Then what make? Love the affection.

Days like today, I realize I'm going to miss having a roommate.

Spencer (my current roommate, if you didn't know) left before I got up this morning, QUIETLY (for the first time in a while) and I didn't see her all day, but then came back and we watched South Park together and had silly conversations about boys.

And then she went to Mills, and she'll be back later, and I'll be mindlessly watching tv, and we might talk about stupid stuff that happened tonight, or we won't.

And yeah.

That's all I got for now.

(ohh, the title of this post came from "Hey Ya" by Outcast, incase it was driving you crazy, because it was me!)