"Somethings missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I son't know what it is
At all" - Something's missing - John Mayer

I really have been trying to see myself as the "beautiful" girl that everyone tells me that I am. Not to sound conceeded, I really am trying to hold my head up a little higher, and try to feel special but after 16 years of trying to stay under the radar, I'm afraid old habits are gonna die, hard.
I really have tried to see myself as "pretty" but I just don't see it. When I look in the mirror I see *****SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION*****, I just see two eyes, a nose and a mouth, with over sized lips. I don't see a pretty person like Ash, or Sadie....
Something IS missing, and I think I know how to fix it. It seems that everything is going good in my life. I'm a junior, I have my license, I have GREAT friends, I have a nice home, and a nice family (excluding my ASSHOLE brother).... what more can I ask for, right? What else do I need, I can be considered SOOO lucky compared to other people less fortunate than I am... But I feel that there is a piece of me that isn't all there. It feels like I just need one thing to really fell complete... a person to share my wonderful life with.
Now, Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am just where I am supposed to be, and everything that is in my life is supposed to be there... but I don't know ... feedback .... sure....

"At My Most Beautiful" REM

I've found a way to make you smile
I've found a way
A way to make you smile

I read bad poetry
Into your machine.
I save your messages
Just to hear your voice.
You always listen carefully
To awkward rhymes.
You always say your name,
Like I wouldn't know it's you,
At your most beautiful.

I've found a way to make you smile
I've found a way
A way to make you smile

At my most beautiful
I count your eyelashes, secretly.
With every one, whisper I love you.
I let you sleep.
I know you're closed eye watching me,
Listening.
I though I saw a smile.

I've found a way to make you smile
I've found a way
A way to make you smile



"I can't be sure that tis state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test
for loneliness like this" - John Mayer